Trust in Him

Monday, March 15, 2010

Save Me From Indecision (Journal Entry)

I am the way, and the truth, and the life.
No man cometh to the Father, but by me.
Be not afraid, I go before you always,
come, follow me, and I will give you peace.

Sweet Angel,
You are good to me, and guide me in the ways of peace. You show me what to do, and teach me the grace of industriousness. Please save me from indecision. Let my trust in Jesus be always pure, and let me go to you when I do not know what to do. Allow me to always work and pray to Christ without ceasing, and to always do that which pleases Him most. Let not a moment be wasted when I could give God greater glory through quick and certain reply to His calling. Help me to realize when my spirit is in need of healing, and when my hands are in need of work, and thus to remain holy by identifying evils within myself and rooting them out.

Let me never be given into laziness and slothfulness, or apathy of spirit and depression of soul. Let me, rather, to always actively pursue the greater good as if there were ever a fire burning in my heart. Let my mind not be confused, but rather have faith in those things that my intelligence cannot reach. Thus let my life and decisions exemplify a great faith in Christ, and my words be obvious fruits of the advice which I seek from you. Let me always be simple in acceptance, and when I am undecided, let me seek in simplicity your decision.

Yes, I am incapable of great things, and my own ambition for perfection laughs in the face of my diminutive intelligence. My weakness of body scorns the longing of my spirit for industriousness. My fear of the unknown, and my shrinking from those things I do not understand are in constant combat with my desire to know Jesus, the greatest Mystery. My timid clinging to you and My Lord for answers strangely contradicts the determination of my heart. And yet, to me the paradoxes of my being are only the result of my being both body and soul. The things that one part of my human nature does not understand are summed up by the other, and the things that one part of my nature fears are embraced by the other. For the ordinary in me has been made extraordinary by the touch of Christ.

My dear angel, I thank you for all the help you give me. By being my constant friend and companion you have freed me from many dangers and brought me close to Christ, and these kindnesses I could never repay. You have granted me permission to come to you in my indecision, and to seek from you solutions. You have offered in place of my slow mind your own wisdom and mind, swift to know the will of God. You have assured me that Christ, if ever in my thoughts, will help me in this world that I do not understand. Indeed, I need only think of Him and I know what to do. It was only with your help that I was able to live my life to the fullest thus far, working and studying and bearing all the responsibilities my person could hold in swift succession. With you to whisper in my ear I will live my life from moment to moment without fear and with constant willingness to please God in all that I do until, one day, when I can rest in Him forever.

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