Trust in Him

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Treasure of My Heart (Journal Entry)

You are enough.

My Jesus,
In my life there are many things I have had or desired, but have received the greater gift in giving them to you. Study and intellectual discussions have caused a flow of joys in my heart and satisfaction in my intellect, and yet I have found these joys emptier than taking your wisdom to my heart and allowing it to radiate through my actions. I have loved my friends and my family, and even strangers... but this love became sweeter, stronger, and spread to more and more people when I gave all my love to you. Treasure of my heart, one desire of my soul, all I have ever longed for is fulfilled in you! Comfort and rest were never enough for me... but suffering for you has brought me more consolation than I shall ever need.

There was a time when I needed to be surrounded by great beauty. Walls adorned with artwork and decorations... shrines buried under flowers and candles... rooms flowing with light from lofty windows. But in receiving you, precious beauty of my heart, no simple beauty in earth or sea or sky escapes my notice. To simply walk outside, or to kneel in a sparse room on a wooden bench, is sufficient to fill me with wonder and gratitude, for receiving you, I carry beauty inside me. Without you even those things that are pretty are dark and empty and depressing... but with all good things, no matter how small, take a priceless simple beauty that causes me to bless my eyes from which grateful tears flow.

To be satisfied, day by day, my hands had need of pleasurable activity. Near and far, as I might choose to search, I'd find things that I could do. Naturally, those things at which I excelled were far more desirable to me than anything else, and I took pride in these achievements. But they were never enough. One destination of my life, beautiful Object of my love, it was not until I discovered you that I was satisfied with the work of my hands. No labor now is too small or too great. If it is your will that I should try, only my best is necessary and I needn't be a marvel in my activities. For my journey to you, my Jesus, is my one great work and my one great pleasure. To bring pleasure to you, my Jesus, I offer you as varied and constant service as you should desire and seek to bring others to you for your sake. I do not fear failure, for in you I find success in the midst of the greatest discouragement and sorrow.

Treasure of my heart, one desire of my soul, help me always to seek you first, and to recognize that it is you alone who can bring peace to my ambitious mind. Sweet love, one fount of wisdom, let me always seek first to drink in silence of your word and thus I shall be satisfied in my curiosity. Greatest Being, Giver of all good, let me seek first the treasures of your bounty and I shall never have need of anything. Creator of beauty, let me seek first the simple good that you have made and my senses shall never be ungrateful. Lord of all time, let me not only be satisfied, but thirst to give more of myself in the midst of my gratefulness for the good you have given me.

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